Dear Marc: We Don’t Care!
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Rumors, rumors everywhere. Is Marc married? No one cares! For the past week-ish all I’ve been hearing on the fashion gossip side is Marc Jacobs is getting married to new beau Lorenzo Martone. Everyone’s surprised because they’ve only been together for a few months and were supposed to have been getting “hitched” in Paris last weekend, but no one really knows if they did or didn’t— and, now there’s some sort of giant, mysterious scandal that can only be solved by Nancy Drew or a well dressed Sherlock Holmes.
But in all honesty, I could care less who Marc marries, and if he ever marries. He could be in love with a different guy ever 3 months, stay with the same game for the rest of his life, swear off love, swear off men and go straight, the list could go on, but none of it matters, as long as he:
- Keeps pissing off the fashion elite with his extreme tardiness, because their front-row complaints are very amusing to us little people who get to see the photos the next morning on Style.com no matter what time the show starts.
- Keeps making those same spurned fashion elite bite their tongues after seeing his collections.
- Stops making fuzzy halos that Mary-Kate will consistently wear around her bobble-sized head— she doesn’t need an excuse to look even more extraterrestrial.
- Keeps throwing crazy costume parties and dressing up as things like Pigeons and Camel Toes.
- Keeps shocking people with kooky ad campaigns.
- Stops making t-shirts with Hillary Clinton’s ugly mug on it, she’s not worthy— I promise!
- Hires me in some position other than store clerk sometime in the future, hopefully near future. (Just thought I’d throw this on in there for good measure. I have to look out for number 1!)
