When you think Agent Provocateur, you may think sexy and/or burlesque, but leave it to US ELLE to turn Agent Provocateur stockings into something completely out of my realm of imagination. I’m not a lover of stockings in the first place and only bought into the black tights trend after I realized it was much too cold to wear dresses in the winter and it was imperative that I covered my legs or risk frost bite from ankle to thigh. This however, is not a black tights issue, this isn’t a tights issue at all actually. I’m completely in awe at how even the sexiest stockings can make a gorgeous model look like a haggard, aging, French prostitute from the early 1900s.

There, I said it!

I have nothing against US ELLE, photoshoot stylist, Christopher Niquet, or model, Valentine Fillol-Cordier— in fact, I have been telling everyone about Miss Fillol-Cordier’s description her style in the most recent issue of Nylon. Her style resembles, “Coco Chanel if she were Kurt Cobain’s grandma.” Just that thought made me laugh out loud and decide I’d like to dress like Coco Chanel if she were Jimi Hendrix’s grandma and Jim Morrison’s girlfriend, now picture that— but, I digress, the slouchy red and pink stockings Valentine wears in the ‘Strawberry Fields’ fashion editorial, are really quite unattractive.

I can deal with everyone and their mother wearing opaque black tights, I can deal with boldly printed tights, and I can even deal with ripped pantyhose, thank you Alexander Wang, but stretched out looking saggy nylons are a bit to much.

Maybe its just me though. What do you guys think of the over-sized thigh highs look? See the more pictures after the jump!

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Photo Credit: Elle.com